Ciroth-Natsuki-Kuga

So I'm working on several things all at once. This is a very dangerous thing to do. I'm bringing my Spiral work to school to be photographed soon... Probably Tuesday. I'm trying to finish my concentration for my portfolio, which is tea by the way. So that means I am painting with tea, drawing tea cups and kettles, and photographing the process. It's all a bit insane. But it's all also very fun... and frustrating because water and tea are going to do what they want paper and not listen to you, and I'd really like them to listen to me, but what can you do. This is strange for me to say because I am the type of artist who lets the medium do what it wants to do and work to put myself on top of that. So now for once I am slightly frustrated that the medium is doing what it wants to d and not listening to me. Anyway, I am also working on editing this photoshoot I just did. I love my photos to have some real contrast and intense colors, in case ya haven't noticed by now. My amazing friend who modeled for me, I love her. But when I put in the contrast, her face gets really red, and I'm working on fixing that. So I'll update you on those.

I'm also trying to finish reading WolfsBane and Linger before my english teacher assigns us a new book. (I struggle reading for school and reading for myself, i get the stories and characters confused.) I should also finish Passion... but I just can't/.

So I'm taking my academic classes super seriously this year, and unfortunately this does not leave a lot of time for my art class. My mother continues to yell at me for getting a medium C grade in art. I point out that I'm getting Bs and As in all of my academic classes instead of my usual Cs. She then says how I'm supposed to want to go to art classes and how I can't do that with a C in art class my senior year. I want to scream at her! She falls asleep at 9 o clock in front of the tv, with a wine glass and all the lights on. Before I go to bed at 2 AM, I turn off the tv, put the food away, put her plate and glass in the dishwasher, turn off the tv, lock all the doors and windows, and wake her up to tell her to go upstairs to her bed. I go to bed at 2 AM, not that she knows that, she still thought people did ballroom dancing at school dances. =/ Anyway! I go to sleep at 2 AM because I am working my ass off for higher grades and trying to finish these art project, trying fill out applications for fracking college by myself because my dad can't seem to remember what college he went to, and my mom never gives me an answer, writing college essays, oh yea and trying to oh I don't know, maybe get a fantastic portfolio done so that I can actually get into an art college! I don't know if you've noticed mother, but I have a lot on my plate. She yells at me for going out with friends on the weekend. Umm yea because even slaves laughed, danced and sang to keep themselves sane... Not that I am comparing myself to a slave. Hey mother! just because you don't see me working, doesn't mean I'm not! I'm always held up in my room because I'm working and you come in my room to check on me when I give myself a ten minute break every three hours! And hey sometimes I do goof off for an hour or go on a rant like this when I want to scream and cry. Mother, I get 4 hours of sleep a night because I wake up at 6 to do MORE WORK! Good Gaia if black tea didn't have caffeine in it I would be a total mess. Oh and I already am a total mess because your brain does not function very well on 4 HOURS OF SLEEP! This is sooo unhealthy!  .... Yea ok I am done with this rant. Thanks for reading.

[] the dark
[] staying single forever
[] being a parent
[x] giving birth
[] being myself in front of others
[] open spaces
[] closed spaces
[x] heights
[] dogs
[] birds
[] fish
[x] spiders
[] flowers or other plants
Total So far: 3

[x] being touched (Ciroth: Only if I don't know/like them)
[x] fire (Ciroth: Uncontrolled fire because being a burning house/being burned sucks)
[x] deep water (Ciroth: If it's like hey look that's like 50 feet deep and hey look there are creatures!)
[x] snakes
[] silk
[x] the ocean (Ciroth: It's more being lost at sea)
[x] failure
[] success
[] thunder/lightning
[] frogs/toads
[] my boyfriends/girlfriends dad
[] boyfriends/girlfriends mom
[] rats
[x] jumping from high places
[] snow
Total so far: 10

[] rain
[] wind
[x] crossing hanging bridges
[x] death
[] heaven
[x] being robbed (Home being robbed would be a little scary but I'm more afraid of being mugged/jumped.)
[x] falling
[x] clowns
[] dolls
[] large crowds of people
[] men
[] women
[x] having great responsibilities
[] doctors, including dentists
[x] tornadoes
Total so far: 17

[x] hurricanes
[x] incurable diseases
[x] sharks
[] Friday the 13th
[] ghosts
[] poverty
[] Halloween
[] school
[] trains
[] odd numbers
[] even numbers
[] being alone
[] becoming blind
[] becoming deaf
[] growing up
Total so far: 20

[x] creepy noises in the night
[] bee stings
[] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[] needles
[] dinosaurs
[] the welcome mat
[] high speed
[] throwing up
[] falling in love
[] super secrets
Total so far: 21

If you wish to post this in your journal, it's been requested that you title it I'm afraid of x out of 72 common fears.

If you get more than 30, I strongly recommend some counseling
If you get more than 20, you're paranoid.
If you get 10-20, you are normal.
If you get 9 or less, you're fearless.

>>Pshhh I already knew I was paranoid. I see and sometimes hear spirits/ghosts, it would be a little odd if I weren't a bit paranoid.

I'm in photo class for summer school! ^^ Which is awesome because I have this totally cool film camera that I seriously love. Our teacher is totally awesome, even if she does talk a hundred miles a minute and confuses me to no end, but she's way cool, I just have to get used to her extreme fast pace. So I'll try to scan all my photos and upload them. (Most of which would be black and white.)

Jin! I had bubble tea at a Vietnamese restaurant and it was amazing, and totally weird but I loved it. ^^ I took a picture with my phone, now I just have to find a way to upload it for you.

There's also this guy I like and it's driving me insane! We have like nothing in common and he talks about guitars and making music all the time, which I happen to know nothing about. >.< Incase you haven't noticed I have a very loud and bold personality, however when I am around this guy I turn really shy and into a complete little girl. It is soo frustrating! This has never happened to me before, and it's driving me crazy, like what the heck is this? Ugh! So if you see some lovey dovey art being posted, you know why. >.>

Also!!! Everyone should watch this! www.youtube.com/watch?v=XP4clb…

Ok, so I really need to update here. I've made a few new things in Clay class and in Printmaking, but my scanner isn't working, thanks a lot dad >.<, nor can I seem to find my camera bag anywhere. Where on earth has that thing gone, it's not a small thing and it's not massive, but it's still pretty sizeable that I'm wondering how I misplaced it. =/

Oh! If there is an unrelated, or random section of FanFiction.net, then I have yet to find it, so there may be chapters of a new fanfiction on here. The story is about, well I'll let you find out, but it's hella dramatic.

In more personal news, I had a great time with the more friendly and less culty kids from my school's stage crew on Friday. We met up at a park, and played Capture the Flag, and then Lap Tag. I'm now thinking about joining crew this summer/next year. (Although I have joined crew twice through high school XD)

In printmaking we are about to start something called monoprints, which are going to be a ton of fun, and crazy frustrating. Monoprints, you take a special kind of paint, and paint onto plexie glass, let it dry over night. (Be very careful because the paint will scratch off easily.) The next day, soak a piece of paper for about five to ten minutes, roll it damp, place it over the painted plexie and send it through the press. The paint will come off the plexie and print onto the paper. There may be some paint left on the plexie which you can totally use for a ghost print. The mono part of monoprint just means you get one print out of it.